Words of Gui

dang it...

2009-09-08T14:44:00.002-06:00

i just realized i posted this to the wrong blog.

i HATE it when that happens.

i think i've mostly officially closed this blog...

go here... this is where the relevant stuff should be.

i'm back

2009-09-08T14:40:00.002-06:00

well... mostly anyway.

i am back in the states, and have been for the last 2 months or so.

i suppose i'm also back to blogging, though i never really left. of course, i don't suppose i was really ever terribly here to begin with.

i have loads of good intentions (and photos...) when it comes down to it... but that just makes for a mediocre blog.

what i really lack is initiative.

perhaps this is due to having too many classes/other things to deal with and think about. therefore, being too caught up in things that are important and matter, i get distracted from blogging.

this seems unlikely.

whatever it is, i'll try to get better and provide more meaningful content to the readership... which last i check is like 2 1/2 of y'all. ;)

from the papers...

2008-03-03T18:16:00.005-07:00

this is a most amazing poem. by the US poet laureate (2001-2003). we'll just pretend that i'm posting this with permission. :)

Billy Collins - On Turning Ten

The whole idea of it makes me feel
like I'm coming down with something,
something worse than any stomach ache
or the headaches I get from reading in bad light--
a kind of measles of the spirit,
a mumps of the psyche,
a disfiguring chicken pox of the soul.

You tell me it is too early to be looking back,
but that is because you have forgotten
the perfect simplicity of being one
and the beautiful complexity introduced by two.
But I can lie on my bed and remember every digit.
At four I was an Arabian wizard.
I could make myself invisible
by drinking a glass of milk a certain way.
At seven I was a soldier, at nine a prince.

But now I am mostly at the window
watching the late afternoon light.
Back then it never fell so solemnly
against the side of my tree house,
and my bicycle never leaned against the garage
as it does today,
all the dark blue speed drained out of it.

This is the beginning of sadness, I say to myself,
as I walk through the universe in my sneakers.
It is time to say good-bye to my imaginary friends,
time to turn the first big number.

It seems only yesterday I used to believe
there was nothing under my skin but light.
If you cut me I could shine.
But now when I fall upon the sidewalks of life,
I skin my knees. I bleed.

i'm not dead... i promise...

2008-02-25T17:09:00.005-07:00

it's just that i don't have enough time to sleep, let alone breath, eat, blog and other important things like that.

i'm trying to work out my schedule so that i am able to have free time to get all the things done during the day that i need to--this being a manifestation of that attempt:

(all the pretty colors!)

so, i'm gonna try to do better... but i don't make any concrete promises at this time. i mean... i've got posts that go back to like... heck, i don't know. since within a week of whenever the last time i seriously posted was.

just know that i haven't forgotten y'all (like the 5 of you that read this...) and that i have every intention of reviving this sad little pigeon from the ashes...

funny

2007-12-07T15:24:00.000-07:00

it's amazing the weird looks you'll get from people when you walk down the street in a wool coat, scarf, gloves... and flip-flops.

killing me softly with [its] song

2007-11-27T20:10:00.000-07:00

okay...i realize that i've been sucking it up lately at doing the whole "posting-to-the-blog" thing.

i almost care, too.

but i'm so friggin' tired!

and i'm behind in my classes, trying to figure out how little work i can do while still passing the class (which, if i recall, only require a D...)

and quite frankly, I DON'T CARE!

i really don't...

it's almost enough to concern me...but i can't be bothered.

i just feel dead and lethargic...and don't care about anything but laying in bed with my wife in my arms.

i think marriage is dangerous for this reason.

and i'm not talking in euphemism here. just laying there. doing nothing. watching a movie at the most. sleeping, maybe. but mostly just laying there. doing nothing.

i'm not entirely sure what brings up this deplorable attitude.

most likely a combination of things...acting together to form a synergistic super-power that is slowly consuming my soul.

i hate it when that happens.

post scriptum ad angelum

2007-11-07T23:47:00.000-07:00

so... you'll probably never read this in the present life... but thank you kind angel, for that's what i esteem you to be, for the ride to the wilk, so i could get to my religion class on time.
:)
you're swell.

same old drummer

2007-10-29T12:40:00.000-06:00

i saw the funniest thing as i was coming in to the library just now...

out in the square, there's a "hey, we're cool, come get free pizza from us" thing going on. naturally, with such a thing, they need to have loud music being played on the monitors, so that EVERYONE knows there's something happening.

well...i'm just walking along to the rythmn of the music, cuz it's kinda catchy and fun... and as i notice that this is what i'm up to... i also happen to see the guy in front of me walking to the same beat. and the two girls walking toward me. and the lady coming out of the library.

as i look around, i notice that about 80 percent of the people in the square are walking with the exact same pattern of footfalls. and i'm sure that not more that a few of them knew what they were doing... let alone that thirty people right around them where doing the exact same thing. just amazing...

monkey see

2007-10-22T20:45:00.000-06:00

HowManyOfMe.com

There are
6
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

i like playing this game...

my kingdom for a pen

2007-10-16T13:21:00.000-06:00

i need to start recording thoughts in a notebook. i had no fewer that three marvelous ideas for posting in the last 10 days. i told myself, "that is such a wonderful thing...there's no way i'll forget it!"
i promptly forgot within the hour.
curses!

hip being square

2007-10-02T22:13:00.001-06:00

my wife is having quilting spasms...

it's kinda fun.

i somehow got snagged into the ordeal. i've been acting as pattern organizer.

this is the pattern i came up with for my brother's little girl. now...uhh...ignore the colors. we're focusing on the pattern here. the actual colors may be interesting too...being as they were chosen by a 2 year old... but you know...you take what you can get.

oh, how lovely

2007-10-02T19:54:00.000-06:00

i like early morning.

it occurs to me that this statement is totally uncharacteristic of myself. allow some explanation.

i like being awake in the early morning. i detest the thought and abhor the act of waking up early in the morning. but...when circumstance requires, or if i just happen to have not actually gone to bed that night, i do enjoy being coherent and functional during the early morning hours.

sadly, the heaven's usually don't align correctly so as to make this a reality. i have to suffer through waking up most of the time to enjoy morning. and by then, all enjoyment has passed.

but...it will be noted that when this does occur, there is so much to be enraptured with at that time!

take, as an example, the above picture. no justice is rendered to the actual scene by the device used to make the image...but the general idea is understood. this is nearing the close of my favorite part of morning. i like the 45 minutes to an hour just before the sun rises...and a few minutes or ten past. that's the best time. that is when the birds are doing their thing, when the air is just crisp and tasty... when all that is wonderful about the world is at it's best.

i don't get the opportunity to see this part of the day very often--more than i probably want to...but i don't enjoy it nearly as often as i see it. but, a few times a year, i get to joy in the splendor of it.

it's always rather refreshing...especially if i don't have anything too particularly pressing that i have to be about. i think this is one reason i like camping so much. i usually wake up early when camping...and am perfectly happy to do so, with a general disregard for the time i went to bed. then i can just sit...and contemplate God's wonders, and relax from the worries and cares that usually jostle me throughout the day.

it's nice. it's really nice.

paradise lost

2007-10-01T11:59:00.000-06:00

so...they've had these magnificent flowers surrounding the library for the past several weeks--just gorgeous! i should have taken more pictures of it...but neglected to do so. here's one that i snapped just before coming to post:

now...i know it's a little old and wilty looking...but you can imagine the splendor of it all.

the post sadness also contains a closeup shot from the gardens...

and so, you can imagine my dismay and morbid fascination when, as i came in the west atrium entrance, i find a scene of carnage and destruction upon the field where once lay such beauteous wonder.

my only consolation is knowing that there will be something fresh, new and more befitting of the present season that will shortly replace this herbal armageddon.

painful sight

2007-09-28T14:28:00.001-06:00

so, i'm leaving class...and i witness something very hard on my eyes.

it starts with a girls...innocent enough.

then she has a pink notebook...relatively normal-ish.

she's also wearing a huge pink sweater...kinda scary.

and...to top it off: a bright, shiny, barbie-pink macbook...ouch!

some colors are just best used over small areas.

going abroad

2007-09-27T14:37:00.000-06:00

well...maybe.

and no, this is nothing like going a viking. i already have a wife.

what this does mean is that i am seriously looking at doing an internship in europe for the spring/summer time period. or maybe "the islands."

this is a very exciting prospect for me. it would not only send me back to europe, and most likely france (really...the most important part of the whole endeavor...), but it would also look super good on a resume!

there are a couple of options i'm looking at:
     1) "the islands" - info meeting tomorrow to figure out what that means... it has something to do with the church...
     2) united nations, european union or british parliament internship - any number of places around the old world
     3) french internship - this would put me somewhere in the great nation of cheese and balls (uh...no. not that. well, yes...that too...but i was referring to the game "boules"...translated "balls") - working for government, business or tourism. yea! :)

so...i'm basically really excited at this possibility. i'm starting to find all sorts of info regarding how people will give me free money for this too...which is even better. why go to europe at your own expense when someone else is willing to pay you to do it? i mean, honestly....

subliminality

2007-09-26T12:11:00.000-06:00

last night i made ratatouille.

no...this had nothing to do with innate murine culinary talent. that's so pixar!

but...it did involve couscous. this was enough to make my soul want to burst with joy and excitement!

and...the tablespoon or so of butter i added to give the sauce a little extra oomph aside...it was probably the most vegan meal i've eaten in months!

it was a meal greatly appreciated by all who partook...and really...who didn't want to partake?!

who wouldn't want to partake?!

need we really ask these questions...i mean...this is COUSCOUS!

ahhhh....i need to move back to france.

under construction...

2007-09-24T12:44:00.000-06:00

i've decided--since there is a distinct possibility that this blog will be acquiring a greater readership--to redo all the labels and stuff.

mostly this is because as people peruse the archives, they may encounter strange things from the origins of the blog. mostly it's going to be in an attempt to make myself look like less of a creepy weirdo. i fully realize this is a rather daunting task...but sometimes you just gotta bite off more than you can chew.

sadness

2007-09-20T09:29:00.000-06:00

i was strolling to class this morning, and, as i was going past the library i started looking at all the beautiful flowers--something that i think people need to do a lot more of--when i noticed the most amazing spiderweb, all covered in dew.

i pulled out my phone and snapped an image...but i don't think this picture truly captures the beauty of what i saw. i need to carry nick around in my back pocket so he can take all my pictures for me.

as i crouched over the plant i had two thoughts/impressions:

1) how many people think i look silly hunched over on the sidewalk, staring at this random plant...
2) how many other people actually do things like this?

the second got me to thinking a little bit.

i've never seen anyone doing something similar. and it made me sad for all the other people passing by...some rushing somewhere, others just walking along. but...none of them stopping. none of them looking. no one taking the time to admire all the beauty around them.

maybe this is all because 3 minutes earlier i had seen an advertisement for employ with the byu ground crew that said something to the effect of "come help us beautify our campus..." but how many people actually take note of the wonderful things that are being done around them? and not just on the plane of landscape architecture... how many of the natural beauties that surround us each and every day are people missing out on because they are so pressed, so worried, so busy and stressed out with school, work, home matters--and all the crap that modern life shoves down our proverbial throats. how many people stop to listen to the wind blowing through the trees? probably not many...it's too much effort to take out the earbuds and pause the ipod.

as much as i love technology and am an advocate of using it and having it help us in our everyday... i often feel it saps humanity of so many of the characteristics that make us just that--human. it's leeching away from so many the ability to appreciate the inherent beauty of one's surroundings. it seems to rape so many of the charitable and virtuous qualities...leaving only the questions "what's in this for me? how will i be benefited?" leaving only the search for a quicker fix and more convenient way of reaching the end goal. what of the journey which ought make getting from point to point the reason for wandering?

granted, these are things that have always existed as part of human nature...but that doesn't make it any less sucky. and there seems to be an increase in such things... perhaps not. i can't say.

all i know is that the flowers do look nice these days.

welcome to the jungle...

2007-09-11T11:12:00.001-06:00

major issues

2007-09-11T10:42:00.000-06:00

sometimes i sit and ask myself dumb questions...like, "what the devil am i doing majoring in french?"
usually these come up after i've had a particularly interesting time in one of my french classes.

today, for example. i'm just all sorts of tired and not wanting to be awake. yet, i find myself waking up at 5 am (subconscious worry that my alarm won't go off), then again at 6:15 (when my alarm actually does go off), to be early for an 8 am class (so i can finish up my homework...). i don't really even want to be in this class! i wanted to be in the noon class...but, as cited by the officials and powers that be over such situations, it was canceled due to "the low number of students enrolled." silliness. pure, unadulterated silliness...

i hereby post my formal complaint.

mostly i'm peeved at this whole thing because if i'd've been able to have the other section, i would have only had one 8 am class--a lab on monday--and i would have had only one class on tuesdays and thursdays--men's chorus at 4 pm. just pause and reflect upon how marvelous that would have been! i would have been perfectly happy with my solid 6/5/3 hour block of classes on monday/wednesday/friday starting at 8/9/11, respectively. but, alas, there is no such luck for a lowly sophomore majoring in the french language. sadness overwhelming!

otherwise, things are coming along smashingly.

depravity

2007-09-04T10:38:00.000-06:00

my face is naked.

i don't like it.

my upper lip shrank.

i look young...and funny.

my wife doesn't like it either.

i want a beard card something fierce.

grrr...

curiousness

2007-08-24T13:14:00.001-06:00

so, i've been wondering lately, who all reads this thing? you should leave a comment on this post when you read it...just so i know you exist.

that's something i've been wondering about lately, as i've considered getting more regular and in depth (i'm really not sure that's the right way to say it...) in my blogging. i want to have a good blog. mostly this means, i think, that it needs to be interesting. i mean...that's why i read the blogs to which i subscribe regularly--they interest me. either because i know the person that writes it, or the author has a unique point of view that i appreciate a lot and says profound, thought provoking things.
maybe this is just a me thing again... that happens a lot, i've noticed.

so...what things have you read on this blog that are interesting? what kinds of things would you like to see here? what makes you cringe when you see it? i want this to be a cool thing that people enjoy reading, you know? (wow...i so felt like i was on the verge of "selling out" right there... that was weird. anywho...)

oh...and how does one go about increasing one's reader basis? and is there any way to track that? or to track if people have subscribed to your blog through atom, rss, google reader and the like?

this concludes my random question session for the day. thank you for your time and participation. :)

back to the grindstone

2007-08-20T18:49:00.000-06:00

so...things are going a lot better now that everything has calmed down.

well...it's at least returned to background levels of stress and the like.

i mean, i've still got to finish registering for 2 credits and get tuition paid by tuesday of next week.

~~not to mention find housing. bahh!~~ but at least i have housing now!

yeah...just normal stresses these days. mainly that means mother isn't melting down due to stress from upcoming events...the lack of upcoming events being good motivation for that.

but...aside from that, things are just swell and spiffy. i'm enjoying being married...and it's not near as awkward as one might have imagined it to be. joy... :) the fact that i married, like, the coolest girl ever certainly doesn't hurt that any.

anywho...seeing as how i sort of forgot the original purpose of this post (because i got sidetracked by dinner, registration and sleep...), i'll be done for now. tchao!

i'hn fehrink dha nubneth

2007-08-09T19:03:00.000-06:00

so...things keep moving.
most noticeably time.

i feel like i'm teetering on the edge of something huge. i think we can all more or less figure out what that is...

i've reached a stage where i feel a silly sense of nothing. i'm just kind of hovering or floating in some sort of ethereal neutrality that surrounds me...if that makes any particular coherent sense.

there's so much that's been done...and yet so much that still has to happen. and i feel that there's so much that i've missed out on getting done that ought to have been done long ago, but still's not done... GAAAHHHHHH!

for instance, i realize that there are still some announcements that i haven't sent out...and i'm getting married in a week and 2-ish days. (good freak, batman...!)

in other news, i'm realizing that this condition is pretty much general in my life. it's not just a getting-married-in-a-month-ordeal issue. i kinda feel like i'm existing in this state of limbo in all things pertaining to my mortal existence. it's weird...mildly disconcerting...and overall just sort of makes me feel like my life is quickly getting nowhere.

that's about all i have on that for the moment. my mind is so not here right now...

internet scavenger

2007-08-04T16:39:00.001-06:00

so...these last few days i've felt like a detective of sorts. i've been roving the wide world of the world wide web, hunting down addresses and names and numbers and information. i even found a lot of what i was looking for.

you know...it's amazing the things you can find on the internet. it really is. i love the internet. have you ever googled your own name to see what you can find about yourself? it's kinda fun. i found some interesting things about myself--including some stuff i didn't even know existed!

but, yeah...i feel lately as though i'm being absorbed by this informatic mass of digital puke that ensnares our society in a tangled web of silliness. it makes me tired.
don't get me wrong...i love the internet. i love finding all sorts of new and exciting things through web 2.0...but it makes me sad sometimes to see how much of their lives people waste away doing nothing "useful" and "productive" in the world...just wasting away in front of their screens.

and speaking of which, i've really got to get away from this desk. i've been here WAY too long...

AHHH...stressfulness!

2007-08-02T13:12:00.000-06:00

yeah...so just for the record...getting married is fun...and stressful.

i've lately been working on getting addresses for announcements and the like... (the like? what the heck else do i need addresses for...honestly!)
i've decided first off that i know too many people.
secondly, my family knows too many people.
i guess this is all okay, being as that's how a newly married couple goes from having absolutely nothing to being able to furnish three professional kitchens, two full baths and having enough linens for a small bed and breakfast. oh, the ways of our society!

but...yeah. yesterday, i would venture to say that i spent roughly 70% of my waking hours on the computer gathering addresses from various sources. this was way too much time spent on the internet.
on the plus side, it made me feel special and loved, because i was getting either a wall post or message on average once every 15-20 minutes for the entire duration of time that i was on facebook! :)
i'm so special... (at least the doctors keep telling me as much...)

i should be getting the announcements in hard copy form today...like within the hour. that's mildly exciting.
then i have cutting, and printing and sticking and mailing to look forward to.
YES!

at any rate...this is just another fun thing in the whole line up of engagement bliss.
i imagine the whole situation would be a lot less pressing and whatnot if it weren't all culminating (is that even the right word?) in two weeks time.
(i was looking for something that indicates coming to a close...wrapping things up...finishing... i really need to start reading more...)

basically...eloping would be so much easier. then you could just throw a little shindig for everyone after the fact...and have all sorts of time and energy to plan it all out.
of course...a longer engagement would help for that too.

oh well...

i'm not complaining...

actually it probably sounds like i am. i promise i'm not. really. quite frankly, i'm enjoying the whole endeavor...it's just a lot all at once that i'm supposed to know everything about, but don't.

again...not complaining...honest.

html woes

2007-07-31T17:24:00.001-06:00

so...i've kinda decided that it's a shame i don't know more html coding.

i guess that's my own fault.
i should probably work on it if i want to know more...
but it seems like such a waste of time, when instead of going out and learning the coding myself, i can just mimick, copy and paste things from other sources. hmmm...

and then there's the whole, "html is so over-rated, and we're all gonna come up with our own codes and use those instead to make it harder for people to figure out how to do stuff until they learn this new code" issue.
i'm almost anti-that...but only because i'm uneducated on the issue, and mildly unwilling to put forth any necessary efforts to conform.

i'm so anti-establishment...

:)

the box

2007-07-26T21:55:00.000-06:00

so...the other day i'm in aberdeen, right? my uncle lives there...and he has a wood shop.
for the last few days i've had the idea that i'm gonna build a wooden box, in the shape of a conversation heart. a white one...with red lettering on the top...you know the wintermint flavor, necco type.

so, i get him to assist me. this means that i stand around and do a lot of watching while he does the work. he was super, and did an amazing job! he even supplied me with sandpaper and oil stain...

at home i finish it up...
sanding...
staining...
painting...

next thing i know...it's sunday, and i've got a grass ring on my finger.
hmmm...ideas...

so, that makes it up in my head...

i braid a ring out of grass...which fits my style of doing things well enough--corny and silly.
i have a couple boxes of hearts rigged up for my purposes...and it's off to town to run errands with mom.

so, i'm driving...whitney's next to me in the passenger seat. the candy boxes are in visible sight line position...the heart concealed under the spring-loaded lid over the cup holders.
after mild prompting, i get her to start eating the box i have prepared for her.
we're hoarding all the white ones that say "marry me," because that's the thing to do.
oddly enough...all of the white ones seem to say that.
weird...

as we're driving along, there's a point where we are no longer moving. at this point, it has been ascertained that all the white hearts say "marry me."
weird...

i comment on the weirdness of this, as i push the top of the spring-loaded lid.
POP!
(okay...more GENTLE SLIDE!....but that's not near as dramatic)

she has a funny look on her face.

i pull out the box, and take out the ring.

it's okay...looks aren't everything... lol... :P

i forgot to account for knuckles...dang it!

it goes on.

she still seems to not be totally coherent... :)

she said yes.

another one bites the dust

2007-07-14T04:53:00.000-06:00

ok...so...ow!

i was riding my bike today (being as my car is a little out of commission...). i'm coming down state, by the construction, and need to get on the sidewalk.

no biggy, right?

do it all the time, right?

well, just as i'm about to pop my tire up onto the curb, i get this silly thought in my head: this is gonna hurt.

mosty i try to ignore it...

then i realize why...

as i mount the curb, my front tire decides to come off...with me still attached to said bike. the front end digs into the curb, and i proceed--with the back end of the bike--to go over the front end of the bike, onto the side walk. i manage to catch myself with my right knee and left wrist, and begin rolling across the sidewalk.

i figure, as i roll, that i'll just stop myself after one roll, right? no...there's another silly thought in my head that says this will cause more pain...and this time i listen a little faster. so, i roll myself a second time, and pop up onto my feet.

i quickly scan the surroundings. i hurriedly reach down, picking up the frame in my left hand and the front tire in my right, and walk on down the sidewalk as though nothing had happened...barely missing a beat!

i was so proud of my self...

sadly, i don't think anyone really saw it. there were a couple southbound cars passing...but i fear they may not have really caught the full beauty of the mishap. it's a shame that nobody was filming...it had to have been an amazing crash, just from the replays in my head... :)

hey...

2007-07-11T15:16:00.000-06:00

so...i've realized that i may need to start carrying around a notebook with me to jot down ideas in...because i keep thinking of things that i want to write about...and then i forget by the time i get to a computer again.

grrr....

and, in other news...you (yes...you...right there...reading this...) should start making comments on posts as you read them. i know you read them--there's no denying that. so...what needs to happen now is interaction. that makes these things so much more worth while. just a line or two. that's all. as you feel it.
and i know you feel it.
you can't deny.
maybe you want to think you don't feel it...but as you read, you feel something.
you have a thought.
you want to say something.
go ahead...just do it!

cool...well that's all for now. tchao!

random thoughts at 2 am

2007-07-09T10:08:00.000-06:00

so, i've been seeing a lot of movies lately. i blame this mostly on the fact that i "accidentally" subscribed to netflix... :)

anywho...this has led to me seeing several movies that deal with war, or are very closely related to war.

some of you may already know my particular thoughts on war (and by this, i mean most likely 3 of the 4 people i know who read this blog...). these have been deepened.

for those who don't know, my philosophies on war are as follows:

war sucks...and should be avoided at all costs.
i don't like war.
there are few (and by that, i mean probably less than 5) things that could cause me to voluntarily go to war...this list does not include my country thinking it's a good idea to help out other countries with their problems. not that that's a bad thing to do...but there seem to be enough other people willing to make the sacrifice to help other nations that it doesn't necessitate my doing so--for which i'm thankful. coincidentally, if i were drafted for such a purpose, i would go. i wouldn't like it...but i'd do it. that is on the list.
wars should be fought by the angry entities in question...and not by the masses under the control of said entities. i realize this becomes difficult to do at times...mostly because governments tend to be rather ethereal and non-physical entities. i'm still working on how to remedy that one...

so...like i was saying. these sentiments--and more than likely some others that i just haven't been able to make articulate yet--have become much reinforced over the last few days.

i really should have written this last night when i had all these thoughts in my head...but alas, i was sleepy, and i didn't have a computer at my disposal. oh well...

perhaps at this point i should clarify that i love my country very much. i have great respect for the enlisted men and women of this great nation who have and do look out for its welfare, as well as the greater altruistic causes that it concerns itself with. however...i don't feel it within my patriotic duties to get terribly involved in the life-threatening pursuits of other nation's affairs. perhaps this is merely a flaw in reasoning on my part. perhaps it is an ethical/moral weakness which i need to overcome. be that as it may. if i get sent to hell for that...i'm ok with it, for now at least.

but basically, i've been pondering...and i've decided that war--even more than i realized before--is silly. i can't explain it better than that. it's silly, and should be done away with. in general, neither of the military units that are facing one another, shooting bullets in each other's respective direction, has anything against the person werf is shooting at. in fact, i'm sure they would be really good friends if they just sat down and talked to each other and played a game of rummikub or something...

so...WHY do we need be out killing ourselves? there's no one that wants to be out there...everyone is just following the orders given by somebody a heck of lot higher up than werfself. and...eventually, it all comes down to politics (which, for those who are unaware, is the silliest game known to mankind!).

silly, silly politics.

and pride.

silly, silly pride.

why can't we all just be friends, play nice and talk out our differences? the world would be such a loverlier place to live...

it's worse than i thought...

2007-07-09T09:51:00.000-06:00

60%

yeah...so i blame nick for this, mostly...
well...not the percentage--i have to take certain amounts of blame for that.
mostly just the post...

declaration of...something...important?

2007-07-06T12:58:00.000-06:00

so...i've been thinking that i'm gonna turn this more into a fully functional blog...though i'm not entirely sure. that would probably require purging it of certain bits of information. though...i don't suppose there's a) anything i need to hide or b) anything that's too terribly embarrassing to myself or any other party.

i'll just have to get used to the fact that the first forty or so entries deal to some small extent with the inner most workings of my heart and head--and what little conjunction there is that actually exists between the two of them--which i usually try to keep hidden from the rest of the world at large. this could be a good exercise in getting out of my bubble. yea!

and there is always consolation in the fact that this is a more or less anonymous blog...except for anyone who knows me well enough to make connections between the random stories and threads that i have going on here. but then, just about anyone that's gonna read it will be doing so almost solely because they know it is i that has written said blog. oh, dilemmas overwhelming!

whatever...i'll just deal, eh?

does that mean that i have to start using more correct grammar and punctuation? i shudder at the thought... give me freedom from the binding compulsion of orthography, or give me death!

at the heart: bad grammar...

2007-07-03T12:52:00.001-06:00

love is you, for me...
blessed reciprocity!

this is heart, to you...
take and use and keep it, too!

words it is, you for...
ich liebe dich...je t'adore!

ruminations in a laurel forest...

2007-07-02T11:20:00.000-06:00

i'm not gonna lie...i hope someone really catches on to the implications of that title... pure genius!

so...i've been up to a lot lately. you all know that already. i just feel like putting it in textual context to help it seem more real and less dream like in my head.

i guess, really...if you wanted to stop reading now, that would be okay--since this is mostly an exercise for my own personal benefit (but then, i wonder if this whole blog isn't just that...because really...i'm the...oh, never mind... pretend i didn't start this parenthetical encapsulation of nonsensical thoughts...).

wow... ok...where to start. how about the beginning...that tends to be a good place.

so, the other week (see the most recent report in respect to the date of this post...), i was in provo. while there, a plethora of random occurrences happened...and that's irrelevant to the present dictation. abe called while i was there, and asked if'n i wouldn't mind helping in a presentation being put on by his grandparents in honor of flag day...a patriotic ensemble if you will. there was to be a choir, but it was in desperate need of male voices. given my circumstances at the time, i probably should have said no. but...given my circumstances at the time, i agreed to do it.

upon my reentry to shelley, i found myself at the virginia on thursday. while there i met a few people that i knew and hadn't seen in ages. i also made the acquaintance of a new personage. it was a girl. first impresssion: she's cute, she's a little...hyper?, she's probably (?) ben's girlfriend... i didn't think too much of it at that point. there was perhaps some mild mannered flirtage on my part...normal enough when in the presence of an attractive young lady. i figured i'd put it from my mind for the time being...observe the situation a little, as it were.

monday...another practice. it seemed to me at this time that perhaps my first impression of any relationship status was incorrect...just from things i can't quite explain. there was some more mild flirting...and i was finding myself oddly attracted to the aforementioned member of the female species. i attempted ignoring this to a degree during rehearsal...

well...there was fhe that night for the single peoples...and i figured i'd go. i still was avoiding certain situations, and it was a good excuse to not be at home. besides...joe was there! except that he left just as i arrived...hmmm... needless to say, in the darkened environment of the dusky sand dunes--surrounded by happiness and fire--i was feeling a little more up to attempted flirtations. this was initially done by increasing the proximity of myself with said girl of previous mention. this was mildly abnormal for me...considering i really didn't know her...and if ever i move that quickly in flirtatious ventures, it's because of exceptional circumstances in our individuals making acquaintance. this was not the present case, since i wasn't with any good friends at the time that would have caused for the slackening of my normal inhibitions. well...my "manoeuvres (2)," if you will, produced positive effects. this resulted in frolicking to the dune, scrambling up it...and some freakin' hardcore flirtage...and the admittance of such actions. (aka... something flirty... mild rejection... something else flirty... mild rejection... "what, i have to be more blatant with my flirting?"... "yeah, pretty much"...) what followed next was a movie...

to describe the events of the movie in a few words... game #1. you know...the hand game.

oh...my hand is accidentally on my leg, very near to your leg...where it accidentally touches you on occasion...
oh...my hand is hiding under my arm by your side...where your hand also happens to be conveniently concealed...
oh...i accidentally touched your fingers with my fingers...oops!

oh...we're holding hands...how the heck did that happen!!!

yeah...i hate games...they're so annoying! i play them because society and human nature dictate that i have to...but it doesn't mean that i have to enjoy it! contrive pleasure out of it, maybe...but not enjoy it.

well...from there things just kinda got interesting. we started spending considerable amounts of time together (inasmuch was possible under the given circumstances...). there was a moment at which we decided to venture out...and do something together...the two of us. a date, if you will. so...that would technically be the first one that we went on. and...it was at the temple...reading scriptures together on a blanket spread across the lawn of the grounds. i think it was wednesday or thursday...i can't recall explicitly. yeah...that's quite the first date: reading scripture while holding hands, surrounded by recently sealed couples and their photographers. wow! yeah... oh...and to make matters more interesting...we started talking about game #1, and how silly the coy little games are...and admitted that we had already started playing game #2. that was interesting...talking about the game while play is in session. under normal conditions i would say, "AWKWARD!" but...this was not at all...it was mildly fascinating and rather entertaining all around. and, during the course of the conversation, i was told, "you win..." which i interpreted as, "you have my permission to kiss me whenever you get up enough nerve to actually go through with it..." i was also told that i was a tease. that sentiment has since been repeated.

from this point, my life became much more...complicated?...in a good way. my mind was never quite able to rest from itself...not normal activity for me by any stretch of reality. i couldn't get her out of my head! i mean...wow, sir! uh...yeah. very quickly our relationship developed into one where open conversation was fostered and encouraged. by this, i mean that within a week and a half, there was talk skirting around the topic of eventual potential for marriage. actually...that technically happened as early as wednesday of the first week. i give you reference: "why...aren't you married yet?" and, in conjunction with the idea of developing our relationship, "haha yeah. however as long as it ends with us as good friends or a trip to the temple im okay with it." ok...just for the record, that's enough to scare the willies out of one! and it did.

well...game #2 was played through with time, and there was much rejoicing. (yea...) uh...yes. there after, there was a lot of things that happened, and yet not much at all. much time spent together. we would stay up late texting and talking (early, if you care to look at it that way...). one mild concern i had was that we only ever seemed to talk when were on the phone. face-to-face wasn't disagreeable time...it was just more...physical. obviously...face-to-face...but you know. there was more in the way of cuddling and kissing than there was of talking. that worried me ever so slightly. i was almost wondering if there wasn't a problem in the relationship...being that is seemed to be more for togetherness comfort than for anything else. i was concerned. i met her familiy, she met mine. things were going great.

well...time passed (that makes it sound like weeks or months, instead of days...) and we kept talking. we kept doing things together. we went on a walk around the greenbelt. that was really good. things occurred there. there was more talking...and stuff like that. i was feeling much better. don't get me wrong--feelings for the one in question have been high and unexplainable since the beginning (perhaps a source of the internal concern?...indeed), and i love her and want to be with her...i just...have doubts. i have concerns. i worry. i let my past experience catch up to me in ways perhaps i shouldn't. i allow other times and circumstances to try and influence the current ones. and i can't really do that...this is something totally different in all manners from anything i've ever gone through before--experientially, and sentimentally as well. the latter being the more important of the two. so...basically i've felt like i'm running around blindfolded in a maze full of pointy objects...but i don't really care. early on i told some of you...and myself...that she makes me comfortable...i can talk with her...i can tell her things that i don't usually tell people, and it doesn't bother me or make me uneasy. that doesn't make sense in my mind, and everything in me is screaming, "SHUT UP YOU IDIOT!"...but i just can't do it...and i don't care. i realize the danger of doing what i'm about...the chance that i may be putting my neck on the proverbial chopping block...the possibility of the fact that i'm opening myself up for heartache and pain--like a lot of it...and you remember what i answered to all that?

i don't care!

i just flat out don't give a (fill in with whatever expletive does or doesn't suit you) about that! i want to get to know her, because i feel that i've found someone that i'll be more than content spending the rest of my eternal existence with...and i'm willing to make the sacrifices necessary to find out if that's really the case. and so help me, if that means putting my heart and soul on the sacrificial alter...i'm ready to do it.

since that time, i've found nothing to contradict my initial impression concerning the potential of a relationship with said girl. i still consider that i may be blinded my infatuated twitterpation...and i'm willing to accept that for the time being. i'm not sure how long it takes to get past things like that. i've often said i want to know/date a person for a year--or at the very least 6 months...--before i make any rash decisions in regards to the status of our singularity. i'm currently finding it EXTREMELY hard to hold up to that resolution. i want to marry her now, dang it!

yeah...ok.

well, the other night (aka, yesterday...) i invited her over for dinner...and was terribly awkward in the presence of my own father...why? i don't know. because i'm so dependant on the approval of those i respect and look up to...and i want them to see in her what i see in her...and i don't know how to do that...and i'm pretty sure i look like a fool whenever i think and talk about her...and i can't stand that...because i'm so frickishly self-righteous and proud in my reasoning and abilities of logic...and it's so incredibly difficult to find myself in this position where i don't know what to think or do or say or how to act...and i can't reason...and i don't care, because all i want to do is be with her...and so i make a fool out of myself in the very act of trying to do exactly the opposite of that...and...and...and...AAAAAHHHHHH!!!

wow...okay...i think i feel a little better. maybe i should do this more often...for my sake, not yours...

so, like i was saying, then we went to the institute choir practice, which was all sorts of fun and stuff...and i was able to watch her a little bit interacting with others. if i hadn't been so absorbed in paying attention to the notes and words and the conductor, i would've been able to do a much more thorough job of it...but that's what other occasions are for, right?

well...anyway. afterward, we decided to walk around the greenbelt again, because we'd sort of gotten sidetracked the other time, and wound up in freeman park (i didn't even know that the greenbelt went over there!). this time...things went extremely well...much more than i ever could have hoped for. there was, of course, frequent stopping to cuddle and stuff...but it was different this time...and in a very good way. it made me very happy. we talked...about a lot of things...and things that i've been thinking about and wondering about and concerned about. it was marvelous. and it was face-to-face. i liked that a lot. i want to do more of it. it seemed that the being together didn't interfere with our endeavors to get to know each other, if you know what i mean? we didn't even have to "come up for air," as my goodly brother humberto insinuated...which, actually, i was very thankful for. not that i have anything against that sort of activity--it's very enjoyable and i like it. but...there's so much more to any meaningful relationship than getting whatever action it is in question on...you know? and i really felt that more than i ever have yet last night.

and it makes me happy. and it makes my resolve to wait until after january all the more difficult. i just want to say i love her...but it sounds so trite and insufficient. i'm not sure how to really express what i feel for her and how i feel around her. i don't know how to do it... i don't know if i really understand it completely myself...i just want to be with her. i don't want to leave her. i don't know if you understand that or not...

and so now i find myself doing silly, funny things. i laugh at myself, because i can see that i'm severely affected. i see that i don't act in a "normal" fashion. i see how i get all giddy and silly whenever i think about her...and how i just get random spurts of energy that overcome my entire system and make me want to scream out loud and make me feel like i'm gonna blow up inside...and i don't know how to explain any of that...and it worries me...and it make me excited...and it makes me just want to run around and hug people...and i feel so light and carefree...and that worries me. that's not normal. i'm supposed to be a pessimistic, mildly masochistic and slightly deranged and embittered person. what's wrong with me!

(sigh...)

okay...so i feel a lot better now. that was incredibly therapeutic. we'll have to play again soon. :)

i win...

2007-06-16T19:32:00.002-06:00

Report...

2007-06-03T02:37:00.000-06:00

so...as you're no doubt aware, i spent a little time in provo these last days...for various reasons. whilst there, i just sort of happened into a date...

sort of...

can you happen into a date?

anyway...

so, i was gonna go on a semi-blind date with a friend of a friend (this becomes important later...), but she was in california for some silly reason. so, i found another date instead--katherine. i thought it would be fun to go out with her, since i hadn't for a while. things ended up so that my double didn't double...and i was left with little time, trying to figure out what in the heck one does on a date...!

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

ok...so it's been like a month since i started writing this...so now it's time for the reader's digest condensed version, for publication's sake:

went on a hike with katherine up to stewart falls...lots of fun. we enjoyed it immensely.

later that week (this is later...now) i hung out with bobby and went hot-tubbing...for, like, the first time in my whole existence. it was also fun. shameless flirting occurred with friend sunni. she was fun to flirt with. facebook flirtage followed...end of story.

aaron's anti-porn poster, courtesy chandler

2007-05-19T11:49:00.003-06:00

yeah...this is just all sorts of fun. i wasn't gonna post it at first--just was gonna get a page for it on the internet...but then i decided y'all might like it too, so i left it...and subsequently made a commentary about it. yay!

so...what just now? ( aka : Report...)

2007-05-16T00:47:00.000-06:00

okay...so i think that y'all have more or less heard this story already, but just in case you haven't:

i spent around 76 hours, $150 and put some 750 miles on my car. yet for all this, i'm not entirely sure what i accomplished.

ask if further explanation is required...

renegation in order...

2007-05-09T11:10:00.000-06:00

so as for the post crap v.7.0, i may need to take back the things that i said. the reasoning for this shall come forth in a future report...

Report...

2007-04-12T21:34:00.000-06:00

yes...
yes...
yes...
quite...

so, i had a date on the 10th of this month. with a girl.
i think it's the first date that i've been on in, like, 2 months? yeah...

there's a guy from men's chorus that i'm pretty spiffy friends with...and he knows this girl. coincidentally, i also happen to know her--now--through him.

well...the other day, as i was walking along, i hear my name. i look around and see a tall, attractive blonde girl beckoning to me. naturally, i approached her. as she came into focus i saw that it was this particular girl. we had a lovely conversation, during the course of which i admitted i hadn't been on a date in some two months--due to my femmophobia.
she proceeded to say, "would you go out with me?"
"yes."
the conversation went on, and as i was leaving i say, "so when are we gonna go on that date?"
"oh yeah...whenever. we'll figure it out."

over the next few days, we did just that. we figured out when would be the best time for both our schedules (tuesday at noon...), and we decided together what we would do (make/fly kites...). it was all done rather democratically.

the day arrives, and it's a little too windy for kites. so, instead, we went and played at the mall for a little bit. then we played at a costume shop for a touch. after this we went to the pet store and looked at fishes and played with a rat. lastly, we played on the equipment at a park. yay!

all in all, it went rather well. there was a healthy amount of flirting that was spread around from either side. she's nice. i don't know...we'll see.

crap... v.7.0

2007-03-27T14:11:00.000-06:00

i'm not sure this actually qualifies as crap...but anyway:

i'm pretty sure that if i wanted to...i could find myself married before this time next year. the dilemma being, do i want to? oy...

ps...just ask if you want more specifics. keyword triggers (for my memory, since we all know how well it works...): vegas trip, text messages

developing situation... part 2

2007-03-15T21:32:00.000-06:00

so...i called her back...
things are good.
i'm happy.
it feels normal again.
my brain is functional now.
it didn't work for a couple of hours on monday...
ask my manager.
she's good...
i'm happy.
i'm trying to figure out how to get to boise in the next few weeks...
i think i can work it out.

help...

developing situation...

2007-03-13T14:15:00.000-06:00

yes...
well...
things are going well.
you remember kami?
yes...
well...
things are going very well...
so...you know how i called her up the other day...in february...after like 5 months of not really having spoken with her...yeah?
yes...
well...
things were still okay...almost a little awkward too.
i wasn't really sure how to process that.
i should have expected that things would change after such a long period of time...but i didn't want them to...
it scared me.
so i didn't call back for a while...
yes...
well...
the other night i'm at work, right?
i get a text message.
i open the message without seeing really who it's from...
i'm floored...
who is this gorgeous girl in the picture?
i read the message...
and close the text...
kami?
back to the picture...
wow...
...
wow...
...
wow...
...
..
.
that's about all that comes out.
i'm not sure how to react to this...
things like this don't happen to me.
and...
well...
wow.

semi-random update...

2007-02-28T18:54:00.000-07:00

yeah...so i've been getting better at this whole flirting thing...
today i went to the MTC, and there was this really nifty belgian girl that i was in the scenario with. it was loads of fun...poor missionaries. i'm hoping to run into her again in following weeks.
uh...i've also been helping colonel sanders with his job as an intern, passing out candy and flyers to promote the athletics department. he's been pointing out a lot of "flirting" to me that i would otherwise have labeled as social politeness.
this is a good thing. let us rejoice.

eureka!

2007-02-24T14:45:00.001-07:00

i've figured it out... i know what my problem is (well...one of them
anyway...). i 've been waiting for some fateful, fantastic thing to
happen...and it's just not going to. i'm waiting unrealisticly to
fall madly in love with some girl who's madly in love with me...and
it's not going to happen again. it already did once--which is
probably well above the average lifetime expectancy for such
happenings--and i shouldn't be planning on it happening another time.
so the one was a little poorly timed...oh well! get over it...move
on...and be happy, right? so now i should (note the choice in verb
conjugation...) be able to start dating somewhat normally.
yeah...we'll see how that works out.

concerning gods and love : an epic poem

2007-01-10T07:36:00.000-07:00

uh...being as this is supposed to be a poem, one would probably be tempted to look for rythm, rhyme, meter and the like.
don't.
it will only cause undue trouble on your part.
it was just a catchy title. one needn't expect anything grand.
please forgive the misnomer.

so... here's a fun little narative concerning me, and my relation with the love gods. you may decide for yourself how they think of me: be it with hate, contempt, disdain, humor or some other.

it is a fairly well known fact that i am--especially when it comes to those of the other species.
so...there is a certain personnage at the place where i work, of whom it may be said--and undoubtedly has--that she is pretty. i've taken it upon myself to engage in non-verbal forms of communication with the personnage in question when we converse.
this said, it can be readily assumed that this makes for my ness to greatly increase in her specific presence.
now, i had the thought arise within my head that it might be entertaining to take said personnage on a...shall we say date, for lack of a better term.
this story, i believe, is more or less well known (this is to be assumed since the media has played it out of proportion, and there have even been civil cases brought up--replete with false allegations and untrue accusations--concerning the particular subject matter). it is also fairly common knowledge that said action (that of the thought...) was met with fierce and fiery opposition, resulting in the aforementioned action never completing it's life cycle (thought -> word -> deed), having had its growth stinted in the second stage of said cycle...perhaps the second and a half stage.
it will be requisite that you recall this information for a later reference.
having gotten over the disheartening melancholy which insued shortly after the realization that i am, as the french say, nul*...well, i did what any normal human would do--which is to say something completely out of the ordinary for myself.
there is a vast plethora, as it were, of such persons at my workplace. like...more than 2. so, i decided to try with another one.
silly, no?
we were working...we were talking...things were happy...i decided to do something out of character.
i asked if she was working next thursday. i just happened not to be.
i await a reply.
"no."
t minus 2.5 seconds...
2...
1.5...
"i'm going to mexico."
oh.
"with my boyfriend and some of our friends."
critical launch failure.
this was on saturday last. i announced to one of my co-workers--the love gods hate me.
he laughed.
life goes on, as does the weekend. things happen, including church. i invited over and flirted with an FHE sister...sort of. (one would be surprised how much effort blatant flirting requires in a social setting...)
back to work.
revert to case #1: the repeated attempts continue.
so...i've decided that i'm gonna do it. i don't care. i'm done. i'm just gonna do it.
we've been working...we've been talking...things have been happy...i decide to do something out of character.
i asked if she was working next thursday. i just happened not to be.
i await a reply.
t minus 2 minutes.
my phone vibrates.
it's my brother. he wants to know his work schedule. no biggy.
tuesday--close. thursday--close. friday--close. saturday--day shift.
---
you can't?
---
plans? not yet...but i'm working on it.
---
no...that's ok. no, no...it's fine. i'll work for you.
confirmation of supposed animosity vis-à-vis the love gods. i inform my co-worker.
he laughs.
BAH!
as the night goes on, we talk about this. there must be a reason. i've offended the love gods. how does one offend a love god? how does one rectify the offense?
we deduce that it must be because of my lack of resolve from some weeks prior. maybe i need to sacrifice a white bull.
where do you find a white bull?
the conversation expands, and others get involved. it's rather entertaining. we're joking and being jovial. she overhears.
"what's so funny?"
we laugh.
a lot.
she's confused.
the love gods are mocking me.

* please note that this word is linked to a translation resource to help the non-francophone readers of this publication.

Report...

2006-12-14T14:47:00.000-07:00

yes...well--i had a date.
it was sort of unexpected...sort of.
you see, friday last there was a dance directly following one of our christmas concerts. i had, earlier that week, purchased two tickets with the high hopes of having a date to attend the event with me.
friday at 5 i still had not succeeded.
we had a dress rehearsal a touch later, and between i was chatting/eating with my friend mike. we were late to the rehearsal, and he still hadn't changed. while being parked outside his house, i decided to nap for 10 minutes. less than two later, he knocks on the window, announcing i have a date and that i need to come meet her.
so i did.
we talked 10 minutes...i went to the concert...and then picked her up afterward. it was quite a dandy little jig. it was fun. i'll have to see if i can't steal some pix from mike to post for y'all, eh?
chillness...
oh...ps--he mentioned that she may (meaning she said so...) be interested in going out for another jaunt.
fun, no?

hmmm...

2006-11-29T21:29:00.000-07:00

i think you are a liar.
you cannot control my mind.
i never had one.
ha!

I rule your world

2006-11-26T22:54:00.000-07:00

My good brother Gui,

I would just like you to know that I am the source of all bad things,
and am in complete control of your mind.

You know who am.

HA HA HA

Report...

2006-11-18T21:43:00.000-07:00

JOY!

so...yeah...i went on a date today. it was hunka hunka burnin' awesome. (i have no idea where that came from...) it was with...did we ever come up with pseudos?...with the californian/soccer game attender (aka katherine...). maybe i should make a glossary or something...
anywho--i'd asked her if she wanted to do something for this week the last time we did something together, after my concert. we both had a little bit of non-available time, excepting saturday...so we decided to "do lunch." it was good. the experience, i mean. the food, too...but--anyway.
so, we got some sandwiches at a place called kneader's, and then on a whim decided to picnic. i called up abe contos, and asked him if it would be kosher to picnic at his work, sun river gardens. it all checked out, so we dined under a tiki hut in the greenhouse. it was cool. we toured the facilities afterward, which were all decked out for christmas.
then, as we were driving back to her place, she pointed out the orem public library. we decided to stop in. we looked at the vast selection of movies available for checkout, and then hit up the children's books section. we went through and found some favorites from childhood, and spent over an hour reading children's books to eachother. it was so freaking awesome. i think i've decided i like this girl...a lot. now i just have to figure out how to handle that.

BAHHH!

Report...

2006-11-18T21:13:00.000-07:00

yes...sorry...a little late here. on the 11th, after my concert, i did a little friendly hanging out with katherine. we went and played uno at one of her friend's homes. it was fun. and i got to drive her sister's car...which is a really nice car. it drives well. yes...that's all.

grrr...

2006-11-11T13:16:00.000-07:00

i may be on the verge of doing something silly.
stop me...

crap... v.6.2

2006-11-07T10:57:00.000-07:00

so, there needs to be an ammendment made to the last bit there on the latest report. minor side-effects have reached an advanced, near critical state. this can be blamed on joe. i'm not saying it is blamed on joe...but it can be. i'll leave it up to the general populus to decide whether or not it was joe's fault (see 2 Gui 8:18). yes...well. i think that's enough said.
so...yes...that's all.

p.s.--
joe...you're fired.

Report...

2006-11-06T09:29:00.000-07:00

uh...so in general, i think this fact is already known...but i had a date on saturday--with my wife. :) yeah...so it was pretty much freakin' awesome.
so...i come up on friday to go to saints and pioneers, right? well, on the way up, i get asked what my plans are for the rest of the weekend. i mention the fact that my cousin is having a reception in layton on saturday, which i was planning on attending. only then does the reason for the question come out--and she basically says, "oh...too bad, 'cause i was gonna ask you to do this..." well...being that i also have a family reunion in a couple of weeks...no terrible loss if i don't go to the reception (me-logic...it seems to work...). so, i stay for saturday and the dance.
we didn't do anything overly extravagant--which is to say we went to the dance, and that was it. but it was loads of fun. and, i got to be with arguably the most attractive (on several levels) young lady at the event. yay for me!
there you have it, brethren. a wonderful excursion...and with only minor side-effects on my mental stability. :)

Report...

2006-11-01T10:05:00.000-07:00

yay! so, i finally bucked up on the eve of the dead, and i asked...uh...we really need to finalize the nomenclature on these lasses. uh...the one i went to the soccer game with, from my first student ward...i asked her if she wanted to hang for a while. she had some homework at first...but around 9 i went over to her place with a pie and some ice cream. we had a loverly time chatting and listening to baroque music. yay! so...this one is in a definite state of candidature. this is what i've decided. she's tricky, though. i don't know. we'll see. yes...that's all.

silly me...

2006-11-01T10:01:00.000-07:00

yeah...so on monday...uh...well...funny story. i conversed in one form or another with 5 distinct female entities throughout the day--including a new one i don't know. (i'm getting so good at this...) so...in holding dialogue with said members of the other human species, i nearly asked 4 of them to do something with me the following evening. 1, being out of the state, was not an option. 2, having things going on that would not allow for such things, i did not bother to ask. the other 2...well...i'm a yellow-bellied sap sucker. i'm so bad at this game... on the bright side, though, i almost asked 4 girls out on a date!

Report...

2006-11-01T09:58:00.000-07:00

uh...so on sunday i had a date-like thing. i was invited to have dinner with shiloh and her husband...and was consequently set up with one of shiloh's coworkers, who apparently wanted to hook up with me. odd.
it was a good time. we made pizza and watched over the hedge. good movie. so...it was fun, but i think that will be about the extent of it, yo.

yeah...

2006-10-26T18:37:00.000-06:00

so...i think i spoke too soon about going on a date tonight. perhaps i should wait these things out before reporting on them. turns out she has a midterm that she forgot about tonight. so...yeah. and i just happen to be trusting enough (some would say gullible...) to buy that. i hate that sometimes...it would be so much easier to question and be negative. then i could be bitter and...and...yeah--stuff like that! bah! okay...i'm done ranting. thank you for listening, and have a wonderful [non-specific time modifier]. tchao.

oh yeah... Report...

2006-10-24T19:29:00.000-06:00

so...after the last post, i realize that i may have forgotten to mention certain bits of relevant information...like the fact that i went on a "date" last thursday. it was a bit of a study date. it was fun. we studied a bit at the wilk...then we took a break. i was gonna buy her some foodstuffs (there is where the questionability of it as a "date" takes place...), but she talked me in to going back to her place where we made pancakes and hot chocolate. then we continued studying during the commercial breaks of corpse bride--good movie, by the way. yeah...so it was lots of fun. there was a certain degree of flirting going on...and stuff like that. yay!

i feel giddy...oh so giddy....

2006-10-24T19:01:00.000-06:00

yeah...so i did it again. i asked my "prey"...? would that be an appropriate name? probably not... anyway--i asked her on a date for thursday...again. (though...technically she did it the first time...i just fed her the idea...) that seems to be a good day of the week with us. i hunted her down again after class (perhaps "prey" is the right term...) and we went to the library, where she was gonna study. i was just avoiding going to class because i was trying to ask her out... well, my nerves caught up with me before too much time passed...and i asked her to go with me to a french club activity--a halloween scavenger hunt thing. :) joy! the best part is she was excited to do it (or atleast pretending really well to be) . YES! i love my life. we're putting being a monk on hold for a while...atleast until one of my random fey moods decides to dominate the seemingly manic depressive rollercoaster which i like to call my emotions in relation to interactions with the female species.
wow...i'm such a freakin' pessimistic cynic.

Waves of Probability

2006-10-17T08:11:00.000-06:00

so...i think quantum mechanics is my new favorite subject.
i mean, thinking about its application in the macroscopic world--that's just about as much fun as you can have.
also...when you get to spend time with a cute girl because of it, this doesn't hurt the situation much either...

crap... v.5.1.7

2006-10-10T21:21:00.000-06:00

need i say more?

crap... v.4.0

2006-10-09T22:03:00.000-06:00

yeah...so...i think i give up. i'm just gonna go back to being a monk. is that okay? i still have the plans for my island monastary. i'll let you guys come and visit. you can even bring the wives and kiddies along...no extra charge!
yes...this is what i've decided--atleast until around this time tomorrow night.
thus is my lot.
thus shall i be.
thus i remain.

Report...

2006-10-09T22:01:00.000-06:00

so...friday i did one of those date things. it was good. we went to a musical performance, then for ice cream. there was converstation that insued afterward. much goodness. yes...
that is all.

crap... v.3.2.2

2006-10-04T09:50:00.000-06:00

there seems to be no end.
there seems to be no solice.
there seems to be no logic.
there seems to be no thought.
there seems to be no reason.
there seems to be nothing...

crap... v.3.2.1

2006-10-02T15:11:00.000-06:00

uh...yeah...
i certainly don't help myself with my own problems...that's for sure.
if anything, i'd say i dig them deeper and deeper and deeper.
this is what happens when i am left to my own devices...
do you guys even actually check this thing?
is this another case of i-didn't-tell-you-this-thing-exists? i hate it when that happens...
uh...i think that's all...sort of...for now...
i'm gonna go cry myself to sleep in the corner whilst rocking in the fetal position...bye.

crap... v.3.0.1

2006-09-29T15:51:00.000-06:00

the plot thickens...like ice cream...
lol...
wow...i kill myself...

crap... v.2.0

2006-09-29T14:04:00.000-06:00

yeah...so...like i was saying...i think that i may have inadvertently gotten myself into a...shall we say "situation?" and i'm not entirely sure whether or not that is a good thing...though i really don't have any complaints with it from a personal stand point. mostly the thing which i find mildly unnerving is the sudden rapidity with which the events transpired. like...in the space of three or four days. dang...but that seems to be my lot in life, doesn't it?
stop laughing...

crap...

2006-09-27T18:37:00.000-06:00

so...just for the record...i may be in trouble. i'm not sure i'll go into explicit details on that one...but what am i up to now, 6 or 7? yeah...we'll just leave it at that.

Greetings

2006-09-18T21:53:00.000-06:00

Hello, my Brethren...it is good to be amongst you in this new realm.